Enjoy Every Moment

Stay Detached from Outcomes – one of the essential principles for finding your way to an Inspired Life, and according to Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, a key element for living fully in the moment.

“Our purpose in life isn’t to arrive at a destination where we find inspiration, just as the purpose of dancing isn’t to end up at a particular spot on the floor,” Dyer writes. “The purpose of dancing – and of life – is to enjoy every moment and every step, regardless of where we are when the music ends.”

This section in Dyer’s book, Inspiration, really spoke to me on a number of levels. As he writes, many of us are seduced into believing that having goals is necessary for a successful life. Too much focus on the goal, or on the prize can in all actuality keep us from feeling inspired because we are living a life of striving while foregoing arriving.

A huge spiritual truth, discussed by Dyer, Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now, and many, many other spiritual teachers, is that there is only Now. Think about it, just this moment.

I had a teacher share that with me once during a session, while exploring my fears. He simply looked at me and said, “You are too worried about the past, too fearful of the future when in all reality you have only this moment, and this one, and this one and this one. Moment by moment we live our lives and it is our responsibility to savor each moment and to celebrate and live it fully.”

Goals, if we place too much emphasis on them, can rob us of that ability. If we have our eye on the prize continually, if we are driven by our to-do lists, and we measure our worth at the end of each day by the amount of tasks we were able to accomplish, we are striving, not arriving.

If we instead take a moment, a Now moment, meditate, dream, and listen for our direction, we will naturally go there. If we make goals less about measurable accomplishment and more about the love of the journey, things will naturally fall into place. If we trust that the same force that brought us here and has supported us each and every day of our lives will not fail us now, we will be amazed at the outcome.

Think for a moment about goals. They are fluid and ever-changing.

When I get this or that, I will be happy…
When I get a promotion, I can start working a few less hours and enjoy life a bit more…
When the kids are in school, I will write that book…
When I get two books published, I will go to Europe…
When the house is paid for, I will look at getting this or that…
When I…When I…When I…

By the time you arrive at a When I, chances are, there are three more When I’s that have been put in place, so the happy, or the inspiration, or the this or that can’t happen yet, because another goal or When I has to be accomplished first.

Goals can be worthwhile, and are definitely useful to help us move with direction along our path…as long as they don’t rob us of our worth and take away from the enjoyment of the journey.

Goals and dreams can serve as guides, but should not define us, and should not take away from the moment.

Take a moment to look around you. What do you see? Can you take a deep breath, stretch, and savor this moment, and the next one, and the next? Can you focus on the dance and enjoy the journey? Or do you have too many things on your to-do list?

Put the list down and listen to the music – dance the dance yet again, that’s the essence of the journey. Choose this moment to arrive.

A Matter of Focus

Be Independent of the Good Opinions of Others - one of the essential principles for finding your way to an Inspired Life, and according to Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, a way of making sure that inspiration is your master or driving force, even through following it might disappoint others.

“When inspiration makes its presence known, we must pay attention if our priority is to be who or what we were meant to be,” Dyer writes. “Suffering the consequences of living according to someone else’s wishes doesn’t make any sense; rather, we need to oppose the external opinions that try to force us to be what we’re not intended to be.”

Reading this section of Dyer’s book, Inspiration, I couldn’t help but reflect back on my own life, especially on my first marriage. There is no blame here, it is all lessons learned, but during that time, when my kids were small and we were starting our lives together as a couple and as a family, there were a lot of “shoulds”. Our parents suggested where we “should” live, our friends and the community around us suggested what we “should” be doing for a living. There were the suggestions on where we “should” educate our kids, what kind of opportunities they “should” have, what types of vacations we “should” take, and on and on and on it went.

We were so caught up in doing what we “should” do that I know personally I lost sight of what I could do. I lost sight of my dreams, my goals and my visions. My passion – writing – didn’t have that Steady Income appeal, it was feast or famine, and that was no way to raise a family so I was told how I “should” be looking for a j-o-b, filled with perks, benefits and retirement plans. It was suggested that I “should” put the dreams of writing aside and focus on something tangible and real, how I “should” parlay the success and recognition I had received as a writer to that point into a resume point and use that to propel me forward.

It didn’t matter that I had realized a way to be a voice for the voiceless. It didn’t matter that my social justice writing and award-winning column on raising a child with a learning disability were as crucial to me as the air I breathe. What mattered was that since I hadn’t landed on the cover of Newsweek and wasn’t making six figures, it wasn’t real to those around me. It wasn’t responsible. It wasn’t what I “should” be doing with two small kids and a mortgage.

Bit by bit, I let go of the dream. I picked up a part-time job, I volunteered with the PTA, I even bought a Pontiac – because it was sensible and parking my old reliable Toyota with 250,000 miles was really what I “should” do. I died a little bit each day, along with my dreams. Prozac replaced coffee and kids sporting and extra curricular events replaced dates. And with each breath, focusing not on what I could do, but on what I “should” do, the dream became a little bit smaller and dealing with life became a little bit harder.

Fast forward several years - death of a beloved friend – divorce from husband – and really a second chance. I could continue doing what I “should” do, or I could reclaim my path, realize that life is precious and move forward accordingly. I could stay where I was or find within me the courage to once again hear the song of inspiration and dance the dance of the dream.

Today, I am writing, realizing my dream, and using my skills to be the voice for the voiceless. I am also coaching, helping people discern their path and not worry about what they “should” do, and instead concentrate on what they could do.

I chose to hear the song of inspiration and dance the dance of the dream…try it, you might be surprised at the joy it will bring.