Be Independent of the Good Opinions of Others - one of the essential principles for finding your way to an Inspired Life, and according to Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, a way of making sure that inspiration is your master or driving force, even through following it might disappoint others.
“When inspiration makes its presence known, we must pay attention if our priority is to be who or what we were meant to be,” Dyer writes. “Suffering the consequences of living according to someone else’s wishes doesn’t make any sense; rather, we need to oppose the external opinions that try to force us to be what we’re not intended to be.”
Reading this section of Dyer’s book, Inspiration, I couldn’t help but reflect back on my own life, especially on my first marriage. There is no blame here, it is all lessons learned, but during that time, when my kids were small and we were starting our lives together as a couple and as a family, there were a lot of “shoulds”. Our parents suggested where we “should” live, our friends and the community around us suggested what we “should” be doing for a living. There were the suggestions on where we “should” educate our kids, what kind of opportunities they “should” have, what types of vacations we “should” take, and on and on and on it went.
We were so caught up in doing what we “should” do that I know personally I lost sight of what I could do. I lost sight of my dreams, my goals and my visions. My passion – writing – didn’t have that Steady Income appeal, it was feast or famine, and that was no way to raise a family so I was told how I “should” be looking for a j-o-b, filled with perks, benefits and retirement plans. It was suggested that I “should” put the dreams of writing aside and focus on something tangible and real, how I “should” parlay the success and recognition I had received as a writer to that point into a resume point and use that to propel me forward.
It didn’t matter that I had realized a way to be a voice for the voiceless. It didn’t matter that my social justice writing and award-winning column on raising a child with a learning disability were as crucial to me as the air I breathe. What mattered was that since I hadn’t landed on the cover of Newsweek and wasn’t making six figures, it wasn’t real to those around me. It wasn’t responsible. It wasn’t what I “should” be doing with two small kids and a mortgage.
Bit by bit, I let go of the dream. I picked up a part-time job, I volunteered with the PTA, I even bought a Pontiac – because it was sensible and parking my old reliable Toyota with 250,000 miles was really what I “should” do. I died a little bit each day, along with my dreams. Prozac replaced coffee and kids sporting and extra curricular events replaced dates. And with each breath, focusing not on what I could do, but on what I “should” do, the dream became a little bit smaller and dealing with life became a little bit harder.
Fast forward several years - death of a beloved friend – divorce from husband – and really a second chance. I could continue doing what I “should” do, or I could reclaim my path, realize that life is precious and move forward accordingly. I could stay where I was or find within me the courage to once again hear the song of inspiration and dance the dance of the dream.
Today, I am writing, realizing my dream, and using my skills to be the voice for the voiceless. I am also coaching, helping people discern their path and not worry about what they “should” do, and instead concentrate on what they could do.
I chose to hear the song of inspiration and dance the dance of the dream…try it, you might be surprised at the joy it will bring.
“When inspiration makes its presence known, we must pay attention if our priority is to be who or what we were meant to be,” Dyer writes. “Suffering the consequences of living according to someone else’s wishes doesn’t make any sense; rather, we need to oppose the external opinions that try to force us to be what we’re not intended to be.”
Reading this section of Dyer’s book, Inspiration, I couldn’t help but reflect back on my own life, especially on my first marriage. There is no blame here, it is all lessons learned, but during that time, when my kids were small and we were starting our lives together as a couple and as a family, there were a lot of “shoulds”. Our parents suggested where we “should” live, our friends and the community around us suggested what we “should” be doing for a living. There were the suggestions on where we “should” educate our kids, what kind of opportunities they “should” have, what types of vacations we “should” take, and on and on and on it went.
We were so caught up in doing what we “should” do that I know personally I lost sight of what I could do. I lost sight of my dreams, my goals and my visions. My passion – writing – didn’t have that Steady Income appeal, it was feast or famine, and that was no way to raise a family so I was told how I “should” be looking for a j-o-b, filled with perks, benefits and retirement plans. It was suggested that I “should” put the dreams of writing aside and focus on something tangible and real, how I “should” parlay the success and recognition I had received as a writer to that point into a resume point and use that to propel me forward.
It didn’t matter that I had realized a way to be a voice for the voiceless. It didn’t matter that my social justice writing and award-winning column on raising a child with a learning disability were as crucial to me as the air I breathe. What mattered was that since I hadn’t landed on the cover of Newsweek and wasn’t making six figures, it wasn’t real to those around me. It wasn’t responsible. It wasn’t what I “should” be doing with two small kids and a mortgage.
Bit by bit, I let go of the dream. I picked up a part-time job, I volunteered with the PTA, I even bought a Pontiac – because it was sensible and parking my old reliable Toyota with 250,000 miles was really what I “should” do. I died a little bit each day, along with my dreams. Prozac replaced coffee and kids sporting and extra curricular events replaced dates. And with each breath, focusing not on what I could do, but on what I “should” do, the dream became a little bit smaller and dealing with life became a little bit harder.
Fast forward several years - death of a beloved friend – divorce from husband – and really a second chance. I could continue doing what I “should” do, or I could reclaim my path, realize that life is precious and move forward accordingly. I could stay where I was or find within me the courage to once again hear the song of inspiration and dance the dance of the dream.
Today, I am writing, realizing my dream, and using my skills to be the voice for the voiceless. I am also coaching, helping people discern their path and not worry about what they “should” do, and instead concentrate on what they could do.
I chose to hear the song of inspiration and dance the dance of the dream…try it, you might be surprised at the joy it will bring.
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Thank you for this inspiring post!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading it!
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